You’ll be shot for this!
Nah, I don’t think so. More like chewed out. I’ve been chewed out before.
Lately, I have started to enjoy rebelling a bit. This week for example, I spent time on a project that we, according to my boss and my college don’t have time with until maybe next year. But it’s important to me, and I plan to both be very successful in it and make sure not to fall behind with the other work. Tomorrow, I’ll help another boss smuggle a dog to work and hide it in my room for an hour or so. Pets are not allowed at work, but we have no allergic people working near me and I have no appointments tomorrow. If caught, I might still have some explanation to do, but I’ll manage. I enjoy taking my own risks, taking full responsibility for them. As a dominant I suppose you sometimes have to spank your spankee for breaking your rules, if you have an agreement that punishment will follow if rules are not obeyed. If you know the spankee had a good cause would you still spank her, I wonder? Would you do it but go easy on her, or let it go altogether.
We no longer have such an agreement, but when we did, I have both been spanked on such occasions and not. I see no right or wrong in either decision but respect the judgement of the dominant.
Being criticized is hard for most people. Spankees are no different. Perhaps we are extra sensitive for this in our constant desire to please or spankers. I have learned to take critique and learn from it though, as long as I feel it is justified. If not, the challenge is to state my point of view in a calm, grown up manner. This has been useful both at home and at work.
I read a horrible thread on a Swedish forum from a girl in her early 20′s that presented herself as very shy. She had gotten a om from a man calling himself dominant, addressing her as a “fat cow” offering her to help disciplining her into being fit and healthy. My guess is that he saw an easy prey in someone so young and uncertain and, unable to be dominant in any other way than through suppressing the submissive, he made his move. Luckily, the girl got a lot of support from others, advising her to contact the operators for an abuse note.
As any leader a dominant has to be extra careful when criticising a submissive, asking oneself if the critique is really justified, expressing it in a loving constructive manner. Same thing with a submissive criticising a dominant. My experience is that subs tend to regress into bratting or becoming sarcastic when displeased with a dominant. This is a bad way of communicating it. I tend to send Sir T e-mails when there’s something on my mind. That way I can weigh my words better and see my feelings more objectively.
I write a lot about how I feel dominants and submissives should behave. But when I come to think about it, it’s really mostly about common sense and realising that we’re only human. Have a great weekend.
